coffee and cigarettes.....

two things that make your breath smell really bad. (:

haha. bet that got your attention. and no, i have nothing profound to say about coffee or cigarettes, except that both make your teeth turn yellow...which is why i drink my coffee through a straw. (no laughing, please)

i've moved. it's a bittersweet thing, really. the family i've been living with is probably one of the most loving, amazing, incredible, talented, hilarious families i've ever been around....but it was time for me to go. i'm probably more comfortable there than i am anywhere in the world...but the lord needed me somewhere else...so i packed my two suitcases, my instruments, my computer and my ipod, and headed across town.

with my move to new york...then to london...i hardly own anything anymore. people needed beds and tv's and george forman grills after the new orleans disaster, so i pretty much gave everything away. for years, i've lived like a gypsie. 'what country is christa in this month,' my family would ask......i moved like the wind....to and from place to place. but there's something in me that's settling. there's something in me that's longing for roots.

'he shall be like a tree plated by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither, and WHATEVER he does, he prospers.' psalm 1:3

i know that in order to produce fruit in my life that is full of life....i have to be planted...i have to be rooted. i've been rooted in everything, from alcohol to eating disorders to drugs to cigarettes to lying to insecurity to boys to fear to you name it. i've been rooted in the things of this world...that produce nothing but death in me......

but in order to have life. to REALLY have life...to live and breathe and move and LIVE.....i have to be rooted in the right thing.

i've run in so many areas of my life for so long. it's our nature to run, i think. we want to try it our way before we just give in to the RIGHT way....and in the process, we come out with scars and bruises and breaks and falls. then when we're down in the pit, covered in our own blood....making our OWN choices to run away from god in the process, we get so angry with HIM in the pit screaming....'WHY DID YOU LET ME FALL???' haha. how funny is that. we're the one who made the choices not to listen to him in the first place...then we blame him for falling into a hole......

i'm learning to listen. to REALLY listen. i've tried it my way in so many areas of my life for so long....but something just hasn't worked. there's still a longing in me...there's still an emptiness in me that knows there's more....

so as i search for more...i'm going to write about it.

you may agree...you may disagree. that's absolutely fine with me. i just want to think...and make you think.....

which is never a bad thing...

xx, christa